We’re living in a time where many of us have completely forgotten how to rest. People are wondering why they are feeling tired, exhausted and getting burnt out, when really that’s just our bodies telling us we need to slow down. We can sometimes feel like there is something wrong with us or that we just need to do something differently when, really, it’s our bodies and our hearts and minds doing what they are supposed to do and letting us know what we need.

If any of this sounds familiar to you, or you are someone who is looking for ways to rest and live a more restful lifestyle this blog post is going to share some reflections on rest, the benefits of resting, how to rest – including a quick practice you can do anywhere and some resources to help you rest.

Over the last few months in our online community, we’ve been focused on rest and taking time out, and it’s made me realise how many people this topic speaks to. There are so many of us out there who have an unmet need to rest. As I’ve got older, I’ve started to appreciate more and more the value of rest, although as I look back I think I rested much more instinctively when I was younger. I would spend the whole morning in bed at the weekend without worrying about “wasting” a day, I’d come home after work and lie on the sofa if I needed to or would take off by myself for a bit for some solitary “me time”. How is it that I now feel guilty when I do any of these things?

As we get older our “to do lists” seem to grow, and they seem to be less about things that we’d like to do and more about things we feel we have to do – or that we’re obliged to do. I remember when the list on my fridge was about all of the places I wanted to visit, now it’s full of the things I need to buy at the next supermarket shop. The pressure of listing all of the things that we “have“ to do means that are minds are often full of all of the things we haven’t done – that we need to cross off the list as soon as possible (only to make room for more things to add!).

Is it any wonder that we’re struggling to rest? Who has time to take time out? But there are huge benefits of doing so.

Did you know that the brain isn’t actually designed to be endlessly productive? It’s actually more efficient when it moves between those times when it’s “on” – you’re focusing hard, working or with other people – and times when it’s “off” – and you don’t need to have the same level of focus. When we rest, or have downtime, the brain is able to consolidate our memories, to allow any learning to be absorbed or even to work on problem-solving in the background.

We have always known about the importance of resting – a day of rest is built into the foundations of our society. But now it feels as if being busy is a badge of honour, resting is seen as passive and pointless. Yet rest is as essential to a good life, and a productive career, as work. We see the effects of burnout every day amongst people who feel unable to rest, for a variety of reasons. Living as we do in the information age brings huge benefits – but a downside is an inability to switch off. We are constantly connected – and this has a massive toll on our ability – and propensity – to rest.

Rest allows us to recharge, to stimulate our creativity. When we rest, we give opportunities for new ideas to flourish, change seems more possible after a rest – partly due to increased levels of energy. When we’re tired it’s difficult to break out of habitual behaviours and responses – when we reside in a more rested place, our cognitions are faster and more dynamic.

It’s all very well knowing that we should rest more – but if we’re not careful, it’ll end up as another thing on the to-do list that we haven’t done. Another thing to beat ourselves up about.

So, how do we actually rest?

The first thing is to prioritise it – to make space in our (oh so busy) lives. One way to prioritise is to see the benefits – so journaling about how you’re feeling if you’re on a journey to increase your rest can help. I’ve recently completed a 40 day “Daring to Rest” programme with Karen Brody – practising Yoga nidra every day for 40 days. Each day I’ve felt slightly more rested and now feel much more energised. I know this because I’ve written it down, and can visibly see the difference (less of an afternoon slump for starters).
We can lean into relaxation more – those activities which we love, but don’t create enough space to do. Put it in your diary – ring-fence the time, so that it actually happens. You might need to negotiate with loved ones – but if the see the results of you doing the things you love, they’re bound to support this.
Take the time to disconnect – go for a walk without your phone, turn off your notifications for an hour or two. Put your phone out of sight – even just having it in your sight-line can mean that you’re on high-alert, waiting for it to ping. Is it possible to have a day a month where you steer clear of technology? This can help the mind to decompress.
Establish clear boundaries – have a start and an end to your working day. For many of us working within the home environment this can feel difficult. Try actually turning your computer off at the end of the day – if it’s on standby it’s all too easy to go back to it. Can you avoid checking work emails outside of work time? When you’re with family or friends, can you just be with them – instead of on the phone, or listening out for notifications? Equally, having boundaries with family is equally important – time to work, time to rest, as much as possible (although of course family life is often messy and unpredictable).
One thing I’ve found useful is taking small breaks during the day. Time to come away from the computer, to pause and breathe or to just do something else for a few minutes. I find going and standing outside is a little rest in itself – the air on my skin, a change of scenery – it’s so helpful. And could you schedule in a nap? Or even a Yoga Nidra?

We’d love to hear about any ways that you rest too. How have you brought this into your life, or is it something that you’re still struggling with? Do let us know in the comments.

If you’re looking for ways to rest, I’d like to invite you to stop and try this now with me. Rather than making rest another thing on the to do list this is a quick practice that you could try right here wherever you are reading this blog post. Give this a try:

Stop whatever you’re doing – down your tools! Push your chair back from the computer, or even turn to face away from the screen.
Close your eyes – bring the focus inwards
Put one hand on your belly, and the other on your chest
Take some deeper breaths – feel into your hands moving
Stay here for at least 3 breaths – but if you have time, up to 10
Pause before your resume whatever you were doing to see how you feel.

How does that feel? If you are looking for more practices like this, I share lots of different tips on my Instagram.

We often find that we can have a complicated relationship with rest. A lack of resting can come from associating being busy with being useful. If we’re resting, we’re not doing anything “useful” and so we feel unworthy. There might be different beliefs we hold about ourselves or about rest, that mean that no matter how much we want to rest, it might feel like something completely out of reach.

If this sounds familiar there are lots of ways that you can explore your relationship with rest. Noticing the way that we talk about it, or how others in our lives rest can give us clues to our own beliefs. Journaling is a great way of digging deeper into these thoughts. Here are a few journal prompts around rest that I’ve found really helpful:

1 – Think about the people in your life who influence you when you were growing up – what was their relationship with rest like?

2 – Complete this sentence: “Rest is….”

3 – Take a moment to consider – what does a well-rested person look like?

4 – If I got more rest, I would be…

5 – Explore the pros and cons of resting more

If you’re starting to explore your relationship to rest on a deeper level it can also help to go through that journey with people on the same path. As part of the Pause & Breathe online community we offer a range of different events that can help people to find more rest in their lives. Whether that’s practically through joining Yoga nidra or mindfulness sessions, or through our workshops, journaling events, book club and our Retreats. We help people to work on creating more space and time to rest, and also on some deeper issues – over Spring we’re delving into the theme of “courage”. Our community is all about helping you to create more balance in your daily life.

Karen Brody’s book “Daring to Rest” is well worth a read – it includes access to a 40-day rest programme, with audio recordings of Yoga Nidra (deep relaxation) practices

Try one of our Yoga Nidra recordings – here’s “Breathing Into Sleep”: https://youtu.be/OzIEzI-8EqQ
https://www.betterup.com/blog/types-of-rest
https://advice.theshineapp.com/articles/the-7-types-of-rest-you-need-to-actually-feel-recharged/
https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-rest-well-and-enjoy-a-more-creative-sustainable-life

If you’ve enjoyed reading this, why not join our online community. We have a Yoga Nidra for Sleep on the last Wednesday of the month. We’d love to see you there. Join our community here.

A Guide to Rest

Blue Monday: Is it the ‘most depressing day’ of the year?

Taking Time Out: Blog